remembering...

Today, I cried.

I don't remember crying on September 11, 2001.  My 15 year old mind understood that something horrific had happened.  But now my mother of two mind understands something so much greater.

The world is different.

And I cry.

We now live in a world that is full of this out-in-the-open and hidden-at-the-same-time fear called terrorism.

We live in a world where we wait with bated breath as friends with spouses and siblings and children in the armed services return from still hazardous tours of duty in far off places.  We live in a world where our children were not alive that day and need to be taught about these things.  We live in a world where we can start again to teach our children to love, always love.

Today, I praised.

I saw pictures on Facebook of another army soldier husband who returned safe to the arms of his wife and family.  I prayed thanks with a heart ready to burst that my brother made it back from his tour in Afghanistan safely.  I mourned again reading about families broken, security shattered, and hearts crushed by the hate of a few people that day years ago.

This different world also brings opportunities to us to do right and good.  Soldiers are getting help for PTSD, organizations are freeing the oppressed around the world, and we continue to find ways to sustain the earth's population more and more efficiently.

Today, I prayed.

The world is different but the prayer is the same.  Patience, humility, and love are never outdated, never unwanted.  As a mother of two, I strive, struggle, every day to try and point my children's eyes to the Savior who did everything for them, for mom and dad, for the whole world.  The whole world doesn't see it.  But that doesn't change the free offer of salvation and love - it will always be there.  And Christ draws us to Himself.

So I will continue.  Crying, praising, praying.  In full confidence of a future shaped and ordained by my Maker and Redeemer.

There are far better things ahead 

than any we leave behind.

~C.S. Lewis

wedding frenzy pt. 3

So it has been a little while since I did a wedding frenzy post mainly because I have been getting into the frenzy and have hardly had a moment to breath much less post about it but I did want to share some of the exciting things that are going on, so I am forcing myself to take a little mental and physical break and do a little post about everything that has been going on!

In the very first wedding frenzy post I did, I mentioned that I was designing invitations for my brother and soon-to-be-sister-in-law's wedding but never actually showed you guys what they turned out like.  Without giving too much away (because the designs keep going throughout the whole wedding), I thought I'd give you this little peek.  =)

aren't they cute as stick people?  =)

Besides my brother's wedding, another dear, old friend of mine is getting married later in the month.  She was not able to find a veil that matched her gown so she asked if I wanted to undertake the challenge. I said yes and it has been a journey.  =P  But it has been a great task and I am working on the final project now but I thought I'd show you some of my practicing.  Did you know sewing on large beads to a porous fabric can be tricky?!  =P  But the earrings are coming out great that I am doing for her bridesmaids.  You'll get a post on that later.  =)

these look almost nothing like the final flower that we decided on but I figured the more I practiced, the better.

And now we are 18 days away from my brother's wedding, 11 days away from my flight back to Hawaii, and 10 days to finish up all my projects that I am still working on for them!  So I better get back to work!

Have a beautiful day, everyone!

I remember...and can never forget...

I was torn about doing a post about 9/11.  I wondered what else I could say that hasn't been said before, thought before, or prayed before.  But then I realized something.  Talking about it is healing - and 9/11 was a huge national injury.  A wound that is still open, needing healing and life.  So here are a few of my muddled musings on the events that took place 10 years ago...

I was 14 years old when this all happened.  I was outside with my dogs, enjoying the Hawaii sun when my little sister came running out yelling something incoherent about airplanes, New York, and grandma and grandpa (they live in NY state).  As I dashed inside, my brain vainly tried to process through what could possibly be going on.  In the house, my mom and brother were glued in front of the tv, frozen by images of some of the biggest buildings in New York City burning and then collapsing.  Because of the time difference, by the time we heard about what was going on and got to the news, almost everything had already happened.  Both planes had hit, fires were everywhere, brave men and women were responding to this emergency, and everyone was praying with everything that was in them.  


In some ways, I think that made it harder.  There was now so much information to take in.  As we were slowly comprehending what was happening in New York, we were being bombarded with additional information that the Pentagon had been hit and there was another plane somewhere in Pennsylvania.  I don't remember thinking much...I think my heart was too full...or too broken.  


We did eventually talk to our grandparents and family in New York state, confirming their safety and waited and prayed for those whom we knew closer to the city and in other parts of the country.  That day still feels like a blur...I don't think much was done or accomplished but we kept functioning - somehow.  The months that would follow became much more challenging.  Here was a new threat in the world.  Almost like the beginning of a different kind of Cold War.  We knew who the enemy was but how do you fight something intangible?  


Marine friends started getting deployed several months later - I didn't see one friend for almost two years.  Air Force friends were also being activated for shorter periods of time.  As months turned into years, Army friends started doing one, two, or more tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan.  It was during these times that I struggled more.  I hated that these men and women were being forced away from their families and the "normal" lives they had lead by the hate of a small group of people.  My brain still can't quite understand it.  But our lives now are affected on a daily basis - our airports now look almost like army bases in some ways, the world halts at the slightest hint of an increase in security threat levels.  


But it has made things better too.  Immediately after September 11, 2001, I do not remember thinking about where God was.  I had always been taught that God knows all things and that He is in control of all things.  If that was the case, then He had to know what was going on and how to take care of us in the process.  As months and years wore on, I often wished I did not have to pray for the safety of friends in Baghdad or men driving convoys around the Middle East.  But I did.  I did pray for them and the families they had left behind.  And life went back to normal - which is the biggest victory we could have had in the situation.  One horrific event could not change God's plan of good for His people.


In the face of death and loss, Americans everywhere said that we would still fly in airplanes.  We said that we would still welcome people from all over the world who came to our land to start over.  We still go to work in tall buildings instead of burrowing underground like we could have.  Do these things sound silly?  Perhaps.  But this determination or resignation (sometimes I'm not sure there is a difference), has propelled people into the future which is now our present day.  

my family at my brother's commissioning as a US Army officer in 2010

My brother was inspired by the service of so many brave people to enlist in the Army himself.  He is now a second lieutenant who knows that he will be deployed next year into the same areas he heard about his mentors going.  I am so proud of him and what he truly believes is God's calling on his life.  But now my heart feels like it won't be able to handle it.  When will it all end?  God, will you keep my brother safe like you did all my friends?...


September 11th, 2001, were the first casualties in a war.  Men and women are still fighting that war today.  We remember because it is still with us.  But the wound that was created that day heals a little every time we push on and pray that God continue keep His people in the palm of His hand, at the center of His will...

My Unintended Hiatus

As you all probably noticed, I have been rather MIA after Christmas.  I do have several very good reasons for this.  A few of them are as follows:

• Visiting family in Hawaii.  My brother was getting ready to ship out with the Army and we all wanted to make the most of our last few days with him as a civilian.  =)  We had some awesome nights playing games and eating all of our favorite childhood foods.  ::sigh:: It made me want to go back to those days.  You know, the easy ones - or at least we realize they were easy now.  =)

me and my handsome Army brother  =)

• Hubby started a new job.  This has been going pretty well so far but there are things that I wanted to be able to talk to him about and hear about and all those little things that happen during the day and things like that.
• We moved into a new house.  This is pretty obviously the biggest of the three...at least in the amount of work that it requires to make it happen.  =)  We are renting a cute house near where we were living before but it is ours (we had been living with hubby's grandma for a while because we were trying really hard to buy a house with the market being so low).  But God had other plans and the buying the house thing hasn't worked out yet. But we are getting to play at it by renting this place.  I will take pictures and show you around once I get things more settled and put away.  I'm afraid the place looks very disheveled right now.  

I am excited to try this new year though.  I say "try" because so many things are changing so quickly that I think it will take me a little while to adjust.  But my goal in the next few days and weeks is to get caught up on all my blogging and blogging friends and to share with you some of the things that have been going on in my life since Christmas.  

Have a beautiful day!  I'm loving SoCal's 80 degree weather today.  Come and visit!  I have a guest room now!  =)