Sunday, September 9, 2012

i'm not sure what to call this post

I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head and I thought I would talk some of them out here with you all.  My dear readers.  Or the emptiness of the internet.  Either way.

Something that has been difficult this week is my grandma.  I got the news on Tuesday that she had had a stroke which has left her unable to use the right side of her body, unable to talk, and worst of all, unable to swallow.  That means she needs a permanent feeding tube to stay alive.  She has been fighting everything the doctors and nurses have been trying to do to help her so...we aren't sure how that will work.  Suffice to say...heartache.  And this is right after my grandfather got out of the hospital for a bad infection.

And then on the other side of the family, my husband's grandmothers are in failing health also.  One is in between surgeries and the other is starting to lose her memory slowly and it is harder for her to create new memories.

And in all of this I am wanting to spend every minute possible with these people who have always been there for me and Corby when we needed them.  I learned to crochet from my grandma.  I still have some afghans that she made for me on my bed.

But I'm not really able to.  I have a husband and child, I live half way across the country from my grandparents.  Another grandma is in Arizona.  But one is here and close by.  And I still don't feel like I am able to stay close enough.  Then I feel slightly (or a lot) guilty that I am not able to spend more time with grandparents.

So I have been praying and talking to people a lot this week.  And I realized a few things that have been helpful.

1.  I'm not the first one to go through this and I will make it through too.
2.  There are a lot of people in a lot of places praying for me and my family.  We can always use more prayer for God's will and healing so please feel free to join us.  =)
3.  Despite the sadness, God is still working out His perfect, holy, and sovereign will.  It will be glorifying to Himself and for my sanctification to become more like Him.  So I will trust in Him.

In better news, I have some exciting posts coming up about the jewelry side of Sense and Sensibility and my family is coming to visit me this week!  So I have a lot to look forward to.  God is good.

Have a beautiful day.


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