My home...or what I have kept telling myself is home...is Honolulu, Hawaii. If you have spent any amount of time on my blog you know how much I look forward to trips back and the food and the people and my family. But I have been realizing that with a child (and theoretically more in the future), trips back to my "home" are going to become fewer and farther between.
That reality is hard for me. And I'm not always sure why. Or maybe I'm not sure why I still look at things this way.
Personally, I have often (and probably always) struggled with finding my identity in my Savior. And if I am honest with myself about that reality - that I wholly and only belong to Jesus Christ - then things like physical locations seem a little silly.
But if I looked at things a little more deeply and even more honestly...maybe I would see that I miss the moments of quiet I remember having with my Lord on a beach in the morning. Or when you are on a surfboard surrounded by an amazing ocean. And I have struggled to find that peace and still since I have left Hawaii... and that probably has more to do with college and marriage and child and my struggle to find quiet time than anything physical...But still...
Homesickness constantly nags and I wonder if I am missing something in my current place. A place filled with family and friends and beautiful places too.
Then I realize again. Christ is universally my identity. I may continue struggling with homesickness but still I am His child. And even if it takes me some work to hear His voice again, He still speaks to me and hears me - no matter where I am.
|I lift my eyes up to the hills, from whence comes my help, my help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. ~Psalm 121.1-2|