My home...or what I have kept telling myself is home...is Honolulu, Hawaii. If you have spent any amount of time on my blog you know how much I look forward to trips back and the food and the people and my family. But I have been realizing that with a child (and theoretically more in the future), trips back to my "home" are going to become fewer and farther between.
That reality is hard for me. And I'm not always sure why. Or maybe I'm not sure why I still look at things this way.
Personally, I have often (and probably always) struggled with finding my identity in my Savior. And if I am honest with myself about that reality - that I wholly and only belong to Jesus Christ - then things like physical locations seem a little silly.
But if I looked at things a little more deeply and even more honestly...maybe I would see that I miss the moments of quiet I remember having with my Lord on a beach in the morning. Or when you are on a surfboard surrounded by an amazing ocean. And I have struggled to find that peace and still since I have left Hawaii... and that probably has more to do with college and marriage and child and my struggle to find quiet time than anything physical...But still...
Homesickness constantly nags and I wonder if I am missing something in my current place. A place filled with family and friends and beautiful places too.
Then I realize again. Christ is universally my identity. I may continue struggling with homesickness but still I am His child. And even if it takes me some work to hear His voice again, He still speaks to me and hears me - no matter where I am.
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| I lift my eyes up to the hills, from whence comes my help, my help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. ~Psalm 121.1-2 |
3 comments:
what a beautiful, honest post, aime. you're totally right, when we are a child of the most high, location is just a pin on a map of His world. we're home when we are safe in HIm. but i understand your feelings- i stayed in hawaii for 1 week and was determined to stay forever!!! i can't even imagine if all my ties and memories were built there. it would be quite painful to leave. just remember, you can come surf with me anytime :) california waters are not quite as welcoming, but it's nature nonetheless. xoxo
oh i totally understand. my husband and i have been moving so much and i have this nagging feeling of missing home. thanks for sharing!
I can't really relate...because we moved so much when I was young, I don't have an emotional attachment to any one place. I sort of envy your seeing one place as home...although I understand it's difficult when a place is home but you aren't living there. We grow strong roots when we're in one place for a long time...strong roots that can take us to a new place when God calls us to move. Your strong roots are just getting used to a new place! Hugs, Cindy :)
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